It is so mind-numbingly quiet here, on the land; I have yet to decide if I prefer this silence to the hustle and bustle of city life. It’s not bad - it’s just different. I’ve spent a large portion of my life trying to quiet the distracting sounds which always surround me in order to focus, concentrate, or sleep. The idea of such a minimalistic lifestyle petrifies me - not the isolation, the wild animals or the complete and utter darkness at night. It is the austere boring routine that I know I will need to endure day after day that is holding me back from making this my permanent home.
On the other hand, I need to escape. I feel the suffocation of my life enveloping me, crushing my spirits. I thrive on change and I feel as though I need to make a huge one before I become trapped being someone I have no desire to be. Being up here, even for just a week, has given me time to evaluate my life. Up here there are fewer activities to occupy yourself, so there is plenty of time for your mind to go wandering through all of your thoughts and feelings on a continual basis and forcing you to question all the things you were able to avoid through the distractions of city life.
Distraction is one of the many things that I take for granted and almost feel entitled to, along with water, energy, the internet, and daylight. Realizing how many luxuries city life offers me is one of the many experiences I have had since arriving on the rural 25-acre plot owned by Zombie Survival Camp. When it is bright and sunny, lack of electric lighting/heating/internet/indoor plumbing isn’t much of a problem, as the solar panels keep everything powered. The status of the batteries (which are charged by the solar panels) determines whether I can shower, do laundry, or even wash my hands in the sink. Availability of running water can no longer be taken for granted; it becomes a luxury that requires a certain amount of stored energy for me to indulge. For a city girl, this is mostly a new experience.
I’m currently staring at a baseball sized bruise on my leg, the result of my first adventure at Ground Zero. I’m reflecting on my first day here, when I told the Strategist that I want to start crossing things off the Idea Wall, which is ZSC’s list of improvements to be made on the land. The first item was to locate a property line tag that was deep in the bush. Our plan was to wait for Soldier to return the following morning and, weather permitting, go on our first adventure. I wore Soldier’s oversized Sorel boots -which came all the way up to my calves- while he donned snowshoes. Both he and the Strategist decided to appropriately dress in snow pants, while I thought I would be fine wearing seven dollar Walmart tights, and off we went on our journey.
I regretted this decision almost immediately, even before we had to travel through snow that reached to the top of my thighs. But I am stubborn and went on the journey, which lasted nearly two hours. Sometimes I had to crawl on my hands and knees, and occasionally I was forced to pull myself out of deep holes created when the upper layers of snow caved in beneath me. I don’t know how many times I tried to take a step, only to have my foot come out of the boot as I moved. I then had to remove a boot buried deep in the snow by hand. Needless to say, I was soaking wet head to toe for most of the journey from snow and sweat. It was uber sexy! My favourite part of the ordeal - besides the end - was when the Strategist built a makeshift bridge from trees and Soldier convinced me to cross it before it was finished. Once across he told me, “I thought you were going to fall in the stream for sure, I was ready to let go.” Thanks buddy! When we got back, I finally consumed one of those beers they kept offering.
It gets dark around five, and although I flourish in darkness when in the city, the darkness on the land seems to lightly whisper me into constant fatigue. Soldier and I play cards, he teaches me cribbage and I learn Monopoly GO (the only realistic way to play that treacherous game). I feel as though I am LARPing the life of a housewife as I help with cooking and cleaning, which to my mind are far superior activities to climbing up onto a roof to remove snow from a solar panel in the middle of winter. I have already done so many things in these six days that I have never done before. I learned to make bread from scratch, play cribbage, and tried venison from the deer that the guys hunted during the hunting season. I have also used skills at which I excel, like organization, to help whip the home into a more appealing state. Now the kitchen is organized and you can probably eat off the floor; the bathroom has been cleaned for the second time since they have owned the land, all their books are alphabetized, binders are organized logically, and drawers organized and labelled appropriately.
One thing that needs to be conquered is their Idea Wall. Tagging the property line and getting the wifi operational are now crossed off the list, but I have added: “remove unrealistic ideas and existing ZSC offerings from the wall.” There is no need to have a monorail on a 25-acre plot of land, and a wild edible garden is an oxymoron. Nothing brings me more pleasure than crossing things off lists, but you cannot cross things off a list if they aren’t logical or plausible. Right?!
I am now wrapped in a nice warm blanket, sitting at a writing desk, typing on a laptop, documenting my journey. I may not be cut out for outdoor adventures on Ground Zero in the heart of winter, or maybe I just need a nice pair of snow pants and snow shoes, but I know I add value to the team through my ability to prioritize, organize and develop new skills quickly. I am cozy and warm, my thick knitted reading socks keeping my toesies warm. It’s sunnier right now than it has been all week, allowing me to have the internet powered on so I can search for jobs in the area. I have decided that moving up here with Butcher and Soldier is what the next chapter in my life contains; it is my next great transition.
There is no doubt in my mind that this may be my biggest challenge yet, but it is one I welcome with open arms.
