Weapon Review: BASEBALL BATS

Another classic zombie weapon, this unassuming, commonly available sports tool is by far one of the best weapons against the undead. There are many types of baseball bats commercially available and they typically fall into one of three categories: wood, aluminium, & composite. I've combed through many scientific papers about the structural engineering and physics regarding baseball bats so let me condense it for you.

Firstly, baseball bats are literally designed to take a beating. More accurately...to dish out many beatings. They've actually banned many models of bats because they were too good. Gave the players unfair advantages. So most of the bats you find are engineered to specific league standards so as to keep Timmy from hitting every ball out of the park.

Wood Bats: Made from one entire block of high quality Ash or Maple. Cheaper wood bats are glued and shaped like particle board, making them a bit heavier than the solid wood ones, but also a bit more durable. Teams will often go through 5 dozen or more wood bats in a season. So they do break, often where the handle flares out into the "barrel" and less often they explode like wooden Claymores.

Metal Bats: Milled out of durable, light-weight aluminium, these are the vanguard of baseball bat combat. These guys are extremely long-lasting, usually suffering only mild dents after severe use. As the barrel is hollow, the bat can crack, but not before that skull splits open. Usually $40 or less (depending on who signs it) assuming you're preparing, not looting. Titanium bats are banned in almost every league making them borderline contraband. Yes, they are that good. Titanium is even lighter and stronger than aluminium, running the price up to several hundred dollars for the few still in production.

Composite Bats: These bats are made from a variety of materials like: aluminium, graphite, carbon fibre, plastic, even Kevlar. They blend these materials in various ways to affect performance on the field. Flexible barrels with stiff handles, heavier caps or lighter core, etc. It doesn't matter. What matters is that they are virtually indestructible when it comes to smashing skulls. But because they are so well designed for the game, their price goes into the couple hundred range.

Notes: Don't you dare hammer in nails or wrap your bat up in barbed wire! That will get you snagged on rotting flesh and get you killed. The smooth contours of the bat make it perfect for getting around in tight spots or thick woods. The light weight also means you can carry this weapon for many kilometers and still be able to wield it through a horde and not die tired.

As fun as it was reading about all the forces and material stress exerted on both the bat and the ball, ultimately, baseball bats make an ideal weapon against zombies. No you can't chop wood with them or pry open big doors or spread peanut butter on your toast. But what you can do is save your bullets and arrows, arm your team with a few sluggers and have fun hittin' a bunch of foul balls all day.

Durability: * * * *

Weight: * * * *

Agility: * * * *

Versatility: * * * *