I am sitting in the plane seat.
My posture is erect.
Fingers anxiously dancing upon my pressed pant legs.
The in flight video screen, two feet in front of my face, is turned off.
Others flick through the 30 odd channels casually, waiting for something to catch their attention.
But not me.
I stare at my blank screen, or rather, stare at nothing at all. My mind is in deep thought, deep contemplation. Contemplation about what is to come and what it is that brought me here. Heading so far from home, farther than I have ever been alone. Is this a dream? When does reality step in and make itself apparent?
I feel like a warm jet stream has been gushing past me for years, licking my face from time to time. Enticing me. Inviting me. Now, I am finally just falling back into the flow and relinquishing all control to this ride - wherever it chooses to take me.
In a way, it's quite calming. Peaceful. It's as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I am a cool soaring sponge waiting to absorb my new life. My new reality.
People told me I was crazy. I've been warned I was throwing away everything. Hell, my mother was in tears, begging me not to go. Please don't go. But the more discouragement that was thrown at me, the more my senses hardened up - refused to listen. I blocked out my peripheries, ignored the concerns, and honed in on my goal. I followed through with no turning back. No second thought.
Clear. Pure. Righteous.
After all, I was not the only one. In fact I was one of many. Part of a movement - a powerful tidal wave sweeping the country, collecting its disciples as it passed through each nook and cranny of society. Young men everywhere dropped what they were doing, leaving behind friends, families, and lovers in the backwash. A mighty horn was bellowing and we were the ones who answered the call. Heard what others could not. See what others were blind to.
We were not chasing an idea, but an existential way of being. Signing up for a once in a lifetime opportunity. The chance to prove ourselves. To fulfill our potential and demonstrate our true grit. Most would never do what we were about to embark on . They didn't have the parts. If they did they'd be on this plane right now.
A three year journey. Our adventure. It would transform us to a new state of being, a superior form, unattainable by others.
Yes, it would be us. Us young men that would make a difference - change the world for the better. And we would return older, wiser, and stronger. Exalted as heroes. The Archangels of righteousness.
The year is 2007, the date August 11th. Our country is at war in Afghanistan and that is why I am on this plane clutching my recruitment papers.
My name is Deidter Stadnyk. I am 18 years old, and I signed up for the army.
Infantry.
